The newlywed teacher plopped down at the lunch table, immediately regaling her co-workers  with the story of a tiff between her husband and herself.

fighting spouses

“I told him,” she huffed, “If that’s the way you’re going to act, there’s the door!”

My immediate thought was, “Well, that marriage isn’t going to last.”  Sure enough, the marriage dissolved a few years later.

RESPECT – a crucial element in our marriages.   Three things troubled me about this event.  One, the fact that she was, so early in her marriage, issuing ultimatums to her husband.  Two, the fact that she was being so rude and speaking in anger. Three, the fact that she shared it, almost proudly, with a bunch of us at lunchtime.

It exhibited so much disrespect for him, for herself and for their marriage.  To respect each other means to esteem, admire, think highly of, reverence and honor.   Throughout each day, our words, actions and reactions communicate respect or disrespect to our spouse.

Am I cutting him off when he’s trying to tell me something?

Is he ignoring me when I’m talking to him?

Am I speaking critically of him to others?

Is he disregarding my input on a decision?

How is my tone of voice?

What message is he conveying with his body language?

There are many ways in which disrespect shows up in a marriage.  Mutual respect is crucial. Let’s take a moment to “check our respect” and see if some improvement is needed.